While patriarchy and misogyny still exist in modern society, progress has been made in redressing the balance and achieving a greater measure of equality between men and women. Some traditional notions of gender roles of course still exist and probably always will. But overall, things have improved. However, despite the improvements, some women, and indeed some men, are characterising gender relations with sentiments that serve only to erode that progress.
Gender relations have undoubtedly been redefined. But that redefinition need not do away with tradition and chivalry in the process. A man offering a seat to a woman, refusing to split the bill on initial dates and buying his partner something nice now and again, need not be banished with one fell swoop in a blinkered quest for absolute equality. After all, despite any undertones of misogyny in viewing women as the ‘fairer sex’, it’s nice to be nice. And if tradition encourages that, then so be it. However, it’s once the materialistic side of that gallantry becomes void of altruism and instead an expectation that a problem arises. Nonetheless, and somewhat worryingly, some women are actually striving for this while remaining ignorant to the adverse affect this has on modern gender relations.
A culture of the ‘WAG’ has become more apparent in recent years and for some has actually become desirable as a route to a life of luxury. Some females will candidly proclaim they are seeking a partner that provides them with a life that they would otherwise not be afforded. Actual attraction is secondary and a minor detail of any so-called ‘relationship’. This isn’t just young females who may not know better to see past a life of superficial materialism, but also professional, educated women who perceive a man who can fulfil this aspiration as a prerequisite for any future partner.
A woman seeking stability in a future partner is a no-brainer. And in some instances, that will be manifested by a good financial standing. After all, no one wants to embark on a relationship with someone that will throw them into a life of financial instability because of a general nonchalance towards money. But the emphasis placed upon financial standing by some women isn’t always to do with stability per se. Rather it’s an expectation that the man must fulfil a role that effectively makes the woman subservient in every possible way. The sad reality is that said women don’t realise this as the effect of their approach to relationships, or the extent to which it erodes any equality between men and women. Furthermore, they don’t realise that by characterising their relationship as akin to one of an arrangement, many men will wrongly expect something in return – herein lies the subservience they are unwittingly subjecting themselves to. But despite this, why are the women who choose this approach blind to the reality?
For some women, the catalyst for this behaviour can be influences from others that have chosen this lifestyle for themselves. Superficially, onlookers will see said relationships in a positive light. The woman has whatever she desires and the man appears content to provide for it. At face value it seems great. But look deeper and there is no substance to such relationships. Indeed, the man is likely to want something for ‘meeting his end of the bargain’. However, that may be something the woman doesn’t want to give him, especially if there isn’t an attraction beyond an appeal to the lifestyle. Consequently, it makes for a relationship of convenience that is void of emotion, mentally abusive for the woman, and indeed the man, and drains any self-esteem from all involved. Either that or the ‘relationship’ is short-lived until someone decides it’s ‘on to the next one’.
The lack of realisation amongst some women that a man will want something in exchange for such a relationship is surprising. But especially amongst women who should know better yet remain naïve to such a basic fact. An educated, professional woman, who is actively looking for a relationship, once told me how she would frequently accompany a female friend of hers to dinner with men they hardly knew. This was with the expectation that the men would pay the bill without question. Yet she remained naïve to the fact that the men would want something in return. Needless to say, both women are very much single, despite aggressively looking to find a partner. Perhaps their approach isn’t as sure-fire as they thought it would be.
There are of course men that are just as much to blame for facilitating relationships of this nature. If there were not men willing to fulfil such a role, they wouldn’t be sought by the women that desire the arrangement they offer. Such men are just as complicit and for similar reasons too. Not perceiving yourself as being worthy of a partnership, and instead needing to substitute attraction with transactions, is a telling sign of low self-esteem – just as the women who take part in this charade are subject to. Such men feel it’s the only way they can attract a woman and as long as the lifestyle they bring continues, the woman will seemingly hang around. There are also the men that have bought into the notion that fulfilling such a role is their duty, yet they are often unable to afford the lifestyle they attempt to emulate. For them it’s a double fail.
It’s important to remember that the women that seek these relationships of convenience are not the majority. But in contrast to the gender equality achieved in modern society, their efforts are made even more apparent and out of place. It’s also important to apportion the blame to both the men and women who bear these attitudes. Their naivety and misguided approach erodes the progress made in gender relations yet they remain blind to their actions.
The tradition of chivalry can remain compatible with equality between men and women. Most men are happy to characterise their relationship with such sentiments while remaining in a relationship that resembles a partnership with mutual respect and equal standing. There is no subservience for a woman in allowing herself to be treated well, even if that means occasionally being placed on a pedestal. Yet for the women that seek an arrangement of convenience rather than an actual relationship, their aspirations are at the expense of genuine happiness. They may not admit it but there is only so much materialism and superficiality that can disguise a lack of attraction before it truly rings true.
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A culture of the ‘WAG’ has become more apparent in recent years and for some has actually become desirable as a route to a life of luxury. Some females will candidly proclaim they are seeking a partner that provides them with a life that they would otherwise not be afforded. Actual attraction is secondary and a minor detail of any so-called ‘relationship’. This isn’t just young females who may not know better to see past a life of superficial materialism, but also professional, educated women who perceive a man who can fulfil this aspiration as a prerequisite for any future partner.
A woman seeking stability in a future partner is a no-brainer. And in some instances, that will be manifested by a good financial standing. After all, no one wants to embark on a relationship with someone that will throw them into a life of financial instability because of a general nonchalance towards money. But the emphasis placed upon financial standing by some women isn’t always to do with stability per se. Rather it’s an expectation that the man must fulfil a role that effectively makes the woman subservient in every possible way. The sad reality is that said women don’t realise this as the effect of their approach to relationships, or the extent to which it erodes any equality between men and women. Furthermore, they don’t realise that by characterising their relationship as akin to one of an arrangement, many men will wrongly expect something in return – herein lies the subservience they are unwittingly subjecting themselves to. But despite this, why are the women who choose this approach blind to the reality?
For some women, the catalyst for this behaviour can be influences from others that have chosen this lifestyle for themselves. Superficially, onlookers will see said relationships in a positive light. The woman has whatever she desires and the man appears content to provide for it. At face value it seems great. But look deeper and there is no substance to such relationships. Indeed, the man is likely to want something for ‘meeting his end of the bargain’. However, that may be something the woman doesn’t want to give him, especially if there isn’t an attraction beyond an appeal to the lifestyle. Consequently, it makes for a relationship of convenience that is void of emotion, mentally abusive for the woman, and indeed the man, and drains any self-esteem from all involved. Either that or the ‘relationship’ is short-lived until someone decides it’s ‘on to the next one’.
The lack of realisation amongst some women that a man will want something in exchange for such a relationship is surprising. But especially amongst women who should know better yet remain naïve to such a basic fact. An educated, professional woman, who is actively looking for a relationship, once told me how she would frequently accompany a female friend of hers to dinner with men they hardly knew. This was with the expectation that the men would pay the bill without question. Yet she remained naïve to the fact that the men would want something in return. Needless to say, both women are very much single, despite aggressively looking to find a partner. Perhaps their approach isn’t as sure-fire as they thought it would be.
There are of course men that are just as much to blame for facilitating relationships of this nature. If there were not men willing to fulfil such a role, they wouldn’t be sought by the women that desire the arrangement they offer. Such men are just as complicit and for similar reasons too. Not perceiving yourself as being worthy of a partnership, and instead needing to substitute attraction with transactions, is a telling sign of low self-esteem – just as the women who take part in this charade are subject to. Such men feel it’s the only way they can attract a woman and as long as the lifestyle they bring continues, the woman will seemingly hang around. There are also the men that have bought into the notion that fulfilling such a role is their duty, yet they are often unable to afford the lifestyle they attempt to emulate. For them it’s a double fail.
It’s important to remember that the women that seek these relationships of convenience are not the majority. But in contrast to the gender equality achieved in modern society, their efforts are made even more apparent and out of place. It’s also important to apportion the blame to both the men and women who bear these attitudes. Their naivety and misguided approach erodes the progress made in gender relations yet they remain blind to their actions.
The tradition of chivalry can remain compatible with equality between men and women. Most men are happy to characterise their relationship with such sentiments while remaining in a relationship that resembles a partnership with mutual respect and equal standing. There is no subservience for a woman in allowing herself to be treated well, even if that means occasionally being placed on a pedestal. Yet for the women that seek an arrangement of convenience rather than an actual relationship, their aspirations are at the expense of genuine happiness. They may not admit it but there is only so much materialism and superficiality that can disguise a lack of attraction before it truly rings true.